We have a problem. I hope you’re sitting down as you read this. There are some serious problems on my mind but I’m going to let you in on what’s probably the most intense problem to be facing our country at the moment. Seriously, this may rock you to the core. If you’re on serious medication, please consider carefully before reading further.In September of 2006, the CW network premiered as a collaboration between CBS and Warner Bros. The new entertainment identity tried to maintain programming for people aged 18-34. But the channel had one thing that it borrowed from other examples on Saturday mornings. The awesomeness of the visual art known as cartoons. I want to talk a bit about them before we address the problem at hand.
As a child, I spent a lot of time outdoors. I loved roaming my road, coming up with silly games or playing with my friend Keely from down the street. But Saturday mornings always involved three things. Sleeping in, cereal, and watching cartoons. The late eighties and early nineties had a ton of quality programming. It was entertaining, even if not always educational. Man, I was trying to relax with my Lucky Charms, not learn some lesson about sharing.
I enjoyed a great deal of different kinds of shows. I remember falling in love with Marvel comic heroes with the X-Men cartoon and the sweet Pizza Hut promo they ran along with it. I watched reruns of Bugs Bunny of friends and learned how to appreciate wry sarcasm. I became a master of recreating the sound of the siren from the car on Ghostbusters. I saw He-Man fight against that evil lady Skeletor. Probably my favorite cartoon was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I knew that with a sweet theme song and remembering to eat all of my radioactive ooze, that I too could become a shelled, green, fighting machine. Totally how that works. Cartoons are involved in some of my fondest memories of childhood. To this day, I still associate some level of cool to remembering them in nerdy ways.
My fond memories make what I’m about to share with you even more painful. This past Saturday, September 27th, was the last time that the CW showed cartoons as a part of its Saturday morning lineup. The more shocking news is that this was last last bit of non cable animated programming on Saturdays. This is a tragedy, a shame, and a mockery. I’m already writing up a petition to every major network that will read my letter. But for now, let’s all pour out a can of ooze.